FAQs

Today marks the start of the 38th week of my pregnancy. Our baby could arrive anytime now and while I have a few minutes this afternoon, I thought I'd take some time to address the Frequently Asked Questions I keep answering (or ignoring) on email, Facebook, and here.

Do you have a name picked out yet?
No. We have a few names we love, but we're waiting (and Jason especially wants to wait) to see her before we name her. We have a middle name picked out, but we're keeping it under wraps until she arrives.

What's your due date again?
July 12th.

Are you miserable and wishing she would come out already?
Mostly, no. I've had 1 or 2 days in the last week or so where I haven't felt so well, but mostly, I'm even a little sad to think about not being pregnant. I'm going to miss this season of my life. At first it was really difficult to adjust to pregnancy and get my mind around the fact that I was pregnant; now, it feels mostly like this amazing transcendental experience and I'll be sorry to see it pass. Also, at 38 weeks, I'm confident in my ability to care for our baby while I carry her...but how to care for her once she's out, I really have no idea! So pregnancy has bred its own comfort level, and thinking ahead to the adjustment to breast feeding/baby care/no sleeping sometimes feels a bit overwhelming.

Do you have help after the baby is born?
Yes. Mom is going to come for a few days at least, and Jason, Orilus and Jackson are home all summer. I'm really excited to have the summertime as a family, to adjust and to bond. In that regard, I hope she arrives sooner rather than later--so we have more time together before Jason and the boys return to school.

Are you still working? And what will you do next year?
I am still working...the only one in the family who is still rising to an alarm every morning. :) Thursday, July 2nd is my last day. I've decided to take some maternity leave next year and hope to be home with our daughter through December. Like many moms I know, I feel the tension between loving my family and loving my job, and I'm grateful both to take the time off and to be able to return before Christmas to work I enjoy.

What about your doctoral studies?
I'm taking a break from classes this summer, though I'm still (trying) to get some writing done for a few writing projects. And I should be working on some of my own research, too, thought that has NOT happened in the last month or so. In the fall, I hope to return to classes with my cohort--two a week, and another one that meets once a month--and perhaps to work a few hours from home each week as a Graduate Assistant to a professor. I hope this will be the right balance between home-work, but I think only time will tell, and I'll adjust accordingly if I find I'm overwhelmed.

Are Orilus and Jackson excited?
This is probably the most popular question I get asked. Yes! I'm really amazed at how involved they are...asking so many good questions (how does she come out? what does it mean when people say their "water breaks?" what does a contraction feel like? where will she sleep? will she poop on me? will she keep me awake at night? can i carry her?). Our baby's room is together now, and the boys have enjoyed exploring the dresser drawers, thinking about how they are going to change her diapers, and wearing the Baby Bjorn around the house to "practice." Personally, I appreciate your continued prayers for our sons as they navigate this new season in their lives--it has the potential to be so healing for them, even as it raises so many painful issues around their own births and birth families.

Are you ready?
I'm not sure anyone can ever be "ready" for a baby? I never know how to answer this one. If by ready, you mean, do we have stuff and a place for her, then yes, we are ready. We've tried to keep "stuff" to a minimum (and still probably have too much), but yes, our bags are packed, our van has a car seat in it, her room is pretty nearly done (just needs a closet door, a closet shelf, and some trim work). I think most of my own sense of readiness comes from a deep abiding peace I experience nearly always--about the birth (I'm hoping to birth naturally at a nearby Birthing Center, and not in a hospital), about our little girl, and about our proven ability to adjust to major life changes. We've been through so much--in twelve years of marriage, and in the five years since Orilus and Jackson became part of our family--and through moves, transplant, working through trauma--through it all, have found God-in-us to be strong and loving.

Today I was reading the first journal I wrote for Orilus and Jackson, which I began a year before they came home to us, and found this Scripture I had written there for them: "The Lord has been with you from birth, from your mother's womb he has cared for you." (Psalm 71:6) We have been so blessed to be part of our sons' unfolding life stories, been so amazed by the ways God's love has shown up in their lives. And I feel this great anticipation, to see a new story now unfold in the life of our daughter, to have it intertwine with my own, and to watch how God's love brings our family together.