Our oldest son is growing up.
How do I know?
Two weeks ago, he organized his own life so that he could dedicate his afternoons to basketball tryouts. For two hours for 5 afternoons, he played hard. "Mom," he told me after one particularly long practice, "I really worked hard today. I want my coach to see that I'm going to work hard if I make the team." It's the first time I've heard Orilus express an explicit connection between effort and achievement. As I dropped him off back at the house on my way to my graduate course, I sat in the driveway, marvelling at how effortlessly he bounded our front porch steps and trying in vain to remember what the limitless potential of 14 felt like.
Yesterday, he woke himself up at 7 to start his homework, which he did for 3 hours, because he wanted to get assignments due on Wednesday done, too.
Today, he put away dishes without being asked. And picked up some board games. And did his laundry. And emptied the car or a few things.
He made the school basketball team, after those 5 try outs. Less than half the kids made it, and a handful of his friends dropped out without even finishing the week-long grueling sessions. He is so proud of himself. We watched his first scrimmage yesterday. How does he get lay-ups with such ease? How can he make a 3-pointer look so effortless? And why does he look so darn tall in his basketball uniform?
He's also talking about colleges now. Helped along by a book about the history of basketball, he's beginning to recognize the names of the top basketball colleges and universities, and inquire about them, and talk about what kind of grades he'll need to get into them. He wants to make NBA, you see. Mostly I'm just happy to hear him talk about college for the first time in his life, to hear him think beyond the moment and to set goals.
Tonight I had to iron his dress shirt and pants for him. You won't believe this, he told me yesterday, but I have to dress up on the days our team has a game. I have to wear a tie to school on Monday! He was complaining in that I'm-so-proud-of-myself way, and as we searched his closet tonight for the crumpled remnants of his 6th grade graduation outfit, I thought to cherish the way he wanted me to help him out and the way he chattered freely to me while we looked through his closet. Things won't always be this way.
This week, every time I have come through the door, he's dropped whatever he's doing and yelled out, "Mom! You're home!" He's being funny and melodramatic, of course, but I love it, and I get a hug out of the deal, and this, too, I cherish. Three months ago, he was in a no-hug stage, and he may go there again, I know.
Last week Oldies 103.3 was hosting their annual Wish-a-Thon, raising money for the Make-a-Wish foundation. We had a wish, after Orilus' transplant three and a half years ago, and the foundation paid for our family to have a week at Disney World. Listening to the Wish families tell their stories--some of them we know from our transplant days, some of them without the kids who didn't survive their fights with cancer or other diseases--I've spent more than a few minutes in the mini-van shedding tears. I'm grateful. Things won't always be this way. Like too many families, we know that health is a gift, and is often temporary, and elusive. Sort of like your teenage son offering you a hug. Sort of.
No matter. He's here. He's healthy. He's tearing up the basketball court. And his mother sits in the stands, clapping but willing herself not to stand up and cheer (I've been told I'm embarrassing, so I really am trying to tone it down).
Life won't always be this way.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
to our waiting readers
Dear Family and Friends,
It's been quite a long time since I've posted...two months now almost. As is always the case when many weeks go by without a post, our family has been caught up in some difficult weeks (or what Jason and I like to call, "family drama" in a dark humor attempt to make ourselves laugh about it). This time, the nature of these things is too sensitive to share, but we've been so grateful to many of you who have kept us in your prayers during this time. Suffice to say, we are all well--healthy, here, and putting the last month of craziness now behind us.
In late September, Moriah had two ear tubes inserted, and she's been healthier than ever since. This is THE longest stretch of time that she's gone without an antibiotic. Many of you may not know that kids with Down syndrome tend to have weakened immune systems; all summer, Moriah had maybe 2 weeks without an antibiotic (and they were not consecutive). So to have gone from September 20th until now without an antibiotic, and with only one small cold, is a huge blessing. She's been making so much progress in these 2 months, too! She's now getting herself into sitting, pulling herself to standing, imitating faces and sounds and signs (we're teaching her sign language as most kids with DS don't talk until about 2 years old). She's at such a FUN age...though as she works now to give up her morning nap, and cruises around the house in her funny "creeping" style, I'm wondering how to get my own work completed. :)
Orilus has had a busy fall. He joined the Junior Varsity soccer team at school. While he's only in 7th grade, because the Middle/Sr High here is 7-12, they share sports teams, and he made it onto JV this year. He's had practice or games almost every afternoon, and his season just ended last week. Thankfully, his school uses a full block schedule, so beacause his classes meet every other day, we've been able to manage his homework load, and he's doing a good job handling junior high academia.
Jackson has had a full fall, too. He played town soccer once a week and is making a big group of friends at school now, which means he's often asking for permission to stay after school to play football or basketball with the crowd. Sixth grade is a huge year in our district--there's a lot of new things to learn, and a whole new schedule (moving from class to class) to which to adjust. And a LOT of projects. But so far, he's handling it all, and keeping himself reasonably well organized. He had his 13th birthday in September, and used his birthday money to buy himself a junior drum set, which is now in his bedroom and getting frequent use. Thankfully, Moriah can fall asleep even if he's playing.
Jason is loving his new job at Stoughton High School. The commute (just 15 minutes) has been a blessing to our family in so many ways--it's so good to have him home at normal hours again. And he's begun bicycling a few times a week there and back, giving him a 30 or so mile ride each day he does it. He's been able to finish up some house projects in the last couple months--new shelves for our half bathroom, a sump pump for our basement--and as always, we are the benefactors of his good and faithful work.
I'm keeping busy with my work, too--teaching 2 classes, one at UMass Boston and one at Massasoit Community College, working as a graduate assistant, taking one class in my doctoral program, and tending to Moriah and her appointments and needs. Most days I'm juggling baby care with therapy appointments with trying to get to the gym with writing or reading a paper (or 20). It's a very, very full life...but mostly, I'm grateful to have work, and to be able to give Moriah the care she needs. A year ago, I would not have believed that I would ever be strong enough to juggle Moriah, Down syndrome, 2 boys, AND a career. It's humbling to have returned from such a difficult place, and to feel the gratitude of a life filled with joy and happy work again.
Moriah is entertaining herself while I write, and I've got a lecture to plan today, a check for Eddie's Fund to mail, a MassHealth form to complete, a doctor to call, and a doctor's appointment to get to. And later, a class to teach. So I must run, friends. Thank you, thank you for standing by in these months as we haven't posted or communicated. We appreciate you.
It's been quite a long time since I've posted...two months now almost. As is always the case when many weeks go by without a post, our family has been caught up in some difficult weeks (or what Jason and I like to call, "family drama" in a dark humor attempt to make ourselves laugh about it). This time, the nature of these things is too sensitive to share, but we've been so grateful to many of you who have kept us in your prayers during this time. Suffice to say, we are all well--healthy, here, and putting the last month of craziness now behind us.
In late September, Moriah had two ear tubes inserted, and she's been healthier than ever since. This is THE longest stretch of time that she's gone without an antibiotic. Many of you may not know that kids with Down syndrome tend to have weakened immune systems; all summer, Moriah had maybe 2 weeks without an antibiotic (and they were not consecutive). So to have gone from September 20th until now without an antibiotic, and with only one small cold, is a huge blessing. She's been making so much progress in these 2 months, too! She's now getting herself into sitting, pulling herself to standing, imitating faces and sounds and signs (we're teaching her sign language as most kids with DS don't talk until about 2 years old). She's at such a FUN age...though as she works now to give up her morning nap, and cruises around the house in her funny "creeping" style, I'm wondering how to get my own work completed. :)
Orilus has had a busy fall. He joined the Junior Varsity soccer team at school. While he's only in 7th grade, because the Middle/Sr High here is 7-12, they share sports teams, and he made it onto JV this year. He's had practice or games almost every afternoon, and his season just ended last week. Thankfully, his school uses a full block schedule, so beacause his classes meet every other day, we've been able to manage his homework load, and he's doing a good job handling junior high academia.
Jackson has had a full fall, too. He played town soccer once a week and is making a big group of friends at school now, which means he's often asking for permission to stay after school to play football or basketball with the crowd. Sixth grade is a huge year in our district--there's a lot of new things to learn, and a whole new schedule (moving from class to class) to which to adjust. And a LOT of projects. But so far, he's handling it all, and keeping himself reasonably well organized. He had his 13th birthday in September, and used his birthday money to buy himself a junior drum set, which is now in his bedroom and getting frequent use. Thankfully, Moriah can fall asleep even if he's playing.
Jason is loving his new job at Stoughton High School. The commute (just 15 minutes) has been a blessing to our family in so many ways--it's so good to have him home at normal hours again. And he's begun bicycling a few times a week there and back, giving him a 30 or so mile ride each day he does it. He's been able to finish up some house projects in the last couple months--new shelves for our half bathroom, a sump pump for our basement--and as always, we are the benefactors of his good and faithful work.
I'm keeping busy with my work, too--teaching 2 classes, one at UMass Boston and one at Massasoit Community College, working as a graduate assistant, taking one class in my doctoral program, and tending to Moriah and her appointments and needs. Most days I'm juggling baby care with therapy appointments with trying to get to the gym with writing or reading a paper (or 20). It's a very, very full life...but mostly, I'm grateful to have work, and to be able to give Moriah the care she needs. A year ago, I would not have believed that I would ever be strong enough to juggle Moriah, Down syndrome, 2 boys, AND a career. It's humbling to have returned from such a difficult place, and to feel the gratitude of a life filled with joy and happy work again.
Moriah is entertaining herself while I write, and I've got a lecture to plan today, a check for Eddie's Fund to mail, a MassHealth form to complete, a doctor to call, and a doctor's appointment to get to. And later, a class to teach. So I must run, friends. Thank you, thank you for standing by in these months as we haven't posted or communicated. We appreciate you.
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